10/23/2009

Yes I Make It Personal! Why don't you?

Well, it is only October and I took my first mental health day. Up until this week I was really enjoying the year. On second thought, I should clarify that statement by saying I have enjoyed being in my classroom and that hasn't changed. In fact I hated missing time with my students today, but I couldn't bear to walk into the building for another day. There needed to be time for me to get some space, perspective, and let my wounds heal.

There have been plenty of events this year that should have drove me to this point. One is not having planning time for almost three weeks in an effort to introduce a new program to 1,100 students. Then air conditioning in the computer lab went out about three weeks ago without any relief in sight. For those who work in a lab, you understand the amount of heat can generate from 30+ computers running for 7 hours. Since I became the Tech Liaison for the building, there is not a time I leave the lab without at least three staff members asking for help. Then there are the little things like the district messing up on student accounts which made it where many students could not log into a computer for weeks. All of that was annoying, but no way drove me to this point.

It was my principal saying that I take things too personal. See the new program is online study program that I wasn't an advocate for, but have spent countless hours making the roll out as smooth as possible. As predicted, the teachers aren't using it with their students and administration isn't holding them accountable. Instead they have built excuses for teachers who do know how to teach and act like prima donnas. Of course I expressed my frustration and got accused of making it personal. To me it is not making it personal, it is having high expectations for my school and getting disappointed. This disappointment is a repeating pattern which is a shame on too many levels.

I can even live with "taking it too personal." What I am having a hard time understanding is how others in the field of education aren't taking it personally enough. We are dealing with young adults and when they fail, we should take responsibility. Instead of worrying about grading policies and figuring out ways to fail a student, worry about how to make that student succeed.