Just Do You

Original Title: Put Your Big Girl Panties On

Being an innovative educator led me to this new position and this week I learned the importance of staying true to myself. Those that know me would have probably not recognized me these past couple of weeks. Safety was the game as I was way too quiet and not voicing my opinions. That quickly spiraled into me playing the victim, blaming others for things not going my way. It took some pain to come back even stronger so if you are going through the growing pains of a new position or direction as an educator, here are some words of advice.

1. Just Do You! This stems from a wonderful song from India Arie that has become my mantra lately. It requires you to trust yourself that you are there for a reason.
2. Set Your Boundaries. If you don't let others know your limits, others will test the waters.
3. Don't be Afraid to be Honest. It is brave to have courageous conversations and trust your colleagues to be open to dialogue.
4. Things are not going to go smoothly! How you handle the problems will define you. 
5. Stay Focused! This is probably the hardest one to do when day-to-day drama needs your attention. Remembering your focus prevents you from becoming a victim of circumstance.

The Optical Illusion of Leadership

There are so many articles, blog posts, books, videos, and tweets about what makes a school "good." Right now I am reading a book about deliberate leadership choices being the catalyst for change, which was picked by leadership in my new school. While it is an interesting read, I believe in my core that an environment where educators are given the freedom and trust to be leaders is where true change happens.

One of the reasons for the big move this summer was the chance of being a leader. Some already labeled me a leader and others showed their confidence in me when I was voted in as MSET's next president (for which I am still grateful and humble). It was a problem when those opportunities don't happen in my day job. I knew I was not alone when I expressed my frustration when administration ignored my ability and willingness to help.

It has already been stated on this blog, a title does not make a leader. So while I am technically an Instructional Lead Teacher, it has been hard work to make the title a reality. It started with jumping into the school's current plans and volunteering help when possible. As I felt more comfortable, the next step was to express my viewpoint in hopes of change for the better. Still in progress is gaining teachers' trust, because without that I won't be able to support them. As usual I am too impatient and want to be further ahead, but feel like time spent on a solid foundation will pay off in the long term.

What I have to be careful about is not to fall for the optical illusion of leadership. My definition of this term is when teachers are trusted with "special tasks" set by the administration. It is a form of power in the school environment, it can feel great to be needed in that way, but it is not leadership. All of decisions still lie with admin and it can even cause conflict with the staff. It forces the teacher to play by the rules to maintain this status, rather than having the ability to change the game.

I am eager to working towards real leadership without using my admin certification to become an assistant principal or principal.

What's in a name?

Juliet:

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

I love Shakespeare because his writing has stood the test of time and there is always a quote that can relate to your life right at this moment. This particular quote has been roaming around my head since Friday since I had a sit down discussion with my principal. I guess I better start from the beginning.

This year our district started a new student system that integrated attendance, student information, and teacher grade books. It has been an interesting process in getting all of the teachers to use it correctly and on a regular basis. After the monthly Principal's meeting, there was a new report with a list of teachers that didn't use weighted averages in their grade book. My principal wanted this corrected right away so she put the IT guy and myself on the job. Of course it was handled in a couple hours, but it brought up the same raw feelings I have had for two years. While I handle a lot of tech issues and conduct in-service trainings, I am not the Tech Liaison for the building. The person that is essentially does nothing, but has the title and extra pay. So after the mini emergency was under control, I decided to finally ask, "Why not me?"

My principal was very gracious by admitting that she did depend on me more, but did give the position to another person. She said it was unfair and promised to correct the situation in the next school year. It made me feel better at the moment, because I had this resentment built up for so long. Now I just feel embarassed.

I got too wrapped up in having the stupid title. In every way that it matters I am the technology leader in the school. There are always email or phone requests and teachers will always stop me in the hallways for tech advise. All of the administrators depend on me to help them with their tech issues. I run the school's website and am the one to coordinate new technology initiatives. Why was this name so important? As many of us witness a title does not make a leader. I think that while I have evolved as a teacher, this moment was a step backwards.